Do you know what your primary love language is? The 5 Love Languages is a concept made popular by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts.
Find out what your love language is, and also what your loved ones speak. It’s crazy how real and effective this concept is—you’ll learn how to understand and love others better and how to communicate with others to love you better.
The 5 Love Languages
We each have a primary love language for receiving and giving love. Dr. Chapman says: It is possible for couples to truly love each other, but to feel unloved because they don’t speak the same “love languages.”
First, you need to understand your own primary language of love. Then, you need to understand the love language of your loved ones and treat them accordingly to make sure they feel loved. This applies not only to couples, but to your relationships with any loved ones such as your parents, siblings, and friends.
Words of Affirmation
Sometimes words can speak louder than actions. If this is your love language, then verbal compliments and words of appreciation mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important, as well as hearing the reasons behind that love.
Insults, criticism, and demanding words are especially hurtful to these types.
Tip: If your loved one speaks the language of “words of affirmation,” then make it a point to give them more compliments, words of encouragement and appreciation each and every day.
Acts of Service
In this case, Actions speak louder than words. People who speak this love language express their love by doing things for their loved ones, and they feel the most loved when their loved ones do things for them. Examples of acts of service include cooking a meal, washing the dishes, walking the dog or running errands.
Laziness, broken commitments, and giving them more work are big no-nos for these people.
Tip: If your loved one speaks the language of “acts of service,” then do something you know he/she would like you to do; help them out with something.
For some people, receiving gifts is their primary love language. Not to be mistaken for materialism; this lover thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, cared for, and prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you.
A missed birthday, anniversary, or a thoughtless gift would be a disaster for these gift lovers.
Tip: If your loved one speaks the language of “receiving gifts,” keep a “gift idea” notebook. Every time you hear them say they really like something, write it down.
This person feels most loved when you’re fully present and engaged with each other. He/she associates love with full and undivided attention. Being there for this person is important, but really being there—without your phone, TV, or any distractions—makes this person feel truly special and loved.
Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful to these types.
Tip: If your loved one speaks “quality time,” ask them what activity they would enjoy doing with you. Then make it a date, and make sure that your phones are off and you avoid all distractions to truly enjoy each other’s company.
A person whose language is Physical Touch is very touchy, naturally. Physical contact is the most important, even simple acts. Hugs, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—can all be ways to show your love and care for these people.
Neglect or abuse are unforgivable and destructive to these types.
Tip: If your loved one speaks the language of “physical touch,” try touching their arm while you’re talking, or placing your hand on their lap when you’re sitting next to each other.
What is your love language?
Once you know your primary love language, make sure to communicate that to your partner so they know just how to make you feel truly loved.
I hope this insight really helped you understand yourself better and learn how to love others better. If you thought this was interesting, please share this with all of your friends. Make sure to subscribe for new videos weekly! Have a lovely Valentine’s Day!