Ask and you shall receive: you’ve heard it before, but it’s easier said than done. People are generally afraid to ask for things. Why? We’re afraid to look needy or stupid, or we’re just afraid of getting rejected. Learning to ask and being shameless about it is something I want to improve on, and I think it’s something that could help a lot of people out there.
The reality is, when you are too afraid to ask, then you’ve already determined the outcome for yourself—it’s going to be a NO. You already lose if you don’t try asking. If you ask, then there will be at least be a chance that that person will say yes and help you out. What we don’t realize is that most people are actually willing to help when others ask of it. It’s funny because we like to assume that nobody wants to help us when people generally like to help. So, instead of wasting our time speculating on what that person would say or think, the only way to really find out is to simply ask.
How Ask For What You Want
(From The Success Principles)
1. Ask as if you expect to get it
Ask with a positive expectation. Positive vibes lead to more positive vibes. So if you ask as if the answer will be yes, then that’s what’s likely going to happen.
2. Assume you can get it
Don’t start with the assumption that you can’t get it. You have to believe that it is possible to get whatever it is you’re asking for.
3. Ask someone who can give it to you
Make sure this person is qualified to give you what you’re asking for. You don’t want to waste time asking the wrong person. Go straight to the source.
4. Be clear and specific about what you want
It’s so important that your requests are as specific as possible. Vague requests produce vague results. Give specific amounts, a specific date and time, so that everybody is on the same page.
5. Ask repeatedly.
Persistence is key. Someone may turn you down, and it could be because they were busy or had other priorities. It’s not a reflection of you. Keep asking because somebody else (or even the same person on a different day or in a better mood,) will eventually say yes.
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by asking. So simply start asking! Make a list of things you want but are afraid to ask for at home, school, or work. Ask yourself, what is your fear that stops you from asking? Then, write down what it’s costing you not to ask. And finally, write down what benefit you would get if you were to ask. You’ll find that the benefits almost always outweigh the costs. Give it a try, because you may just get what you ask for!